Don't Let Your Mentee Walk Down The Wrong Alley
While meeting with a group of young people, the topic of personal safety came up. We agreed that the behavior of a stranger could be unpredictable. Several of the participants had stories as evidence of strange situations. One youth commented, "Why take the chance?" He lives in a city. He expanded on his comment by sharing a rule: he does not venture into unfamiliar city alleys. His strategy seems wise. It was clear that he had life experience and benefited from alley avoidance.
In his city, he knows that more crimes occur in alleys or back streets. In his mind, based on crime statistics and stories, those areas are dangerous. He has encountered people who do not behave rationally in the city, and some of those encounters included aggressive behavior. To avoid irrational people and precarious situations, he learned fast where not to venture. If you are aware of problem areas, do not go there. The young person was providing advice to steer us away from big problems.
When we mentor, we need to find ways to communicate "danger ahead" situations. We can guide young people away from impending mistakes, problems, safety issues, obstacles, and more. Our mentee may not have access to good advice from peers.
Taking on challenges and try new things is undoubtedly an excellent way to learn. We can learn from our mistakes. But guidance and coaching our mentee away from big problems is a part of the mentoring job description.
Even with experience, a life skill reminder can be worthwhile. Reminders help us to recall previous mistakes and lessons learned.
Years before hearing the young person's advice, I visited a community center in the middle of a city. I was the principal of a school and was sharing information at the community center. Parking was always a challenge when I would go to the community center. After finding a parking spot, I walked to the center using sidewalks on the main streets. For some reason, after the meeting, I decided to use a long back alley as a shortcut back to my car. Although I did not see one person in the alley, I felt this was a bad idea. The area was shielded from the view of pedestrians on the main street by rundown buildings. I felt like an easy target.
Later, a colleague and friend who grew up in the city confirmed that I had made a wrong decision by walking down the alley and taking shortcuts without knowing the area. In the future, I will not randomly venture into parts of towns and cities with which I am not familiar. My colleague became my teacher, and he reinforced what I learned from my walk through a back ally.
Unlike my colleague, some people might not be as giving. He was demonstrating friendship when he graciously shared information.
"You should not go there" can mean more than physically being in a location. While mentoring, we can steer our mentee away from "dangerous alley" situations: drugs and alcohol, bad friendships, gangs, criminal activity, technology addictions, and other life-changing situations youth may encounter.
We need to be gracious and take advantage of teaching opportunities. As we work with mentees, we must creatively share knowledge - superior mentors balance listening and teaching.
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